The Origins of Cattitude

Mia our cat loves to lounge on the baby chair occasionally. Her expression with hand leisurely extended  tells me, “Talk only if it’s important or urgent…else begone!”

If there is one thing she does take seriously, it’s her sleep time – clearly “Do not disturb”

Gross disrespect for gadgets this…

Curiosity thy name is Mia…

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Thoroughly WordPressed

 

I got onto the blog-wagon in January 2o12. Being a total newbie to the blogging world, each day has been a discovery of some term or feature on WordPress (WP).

It has been a fun ride & let’s now see what has set in as perfectly normal behaviour  –

First, the ‘My Stats’ addiction – I am now in auto-mode & involuntarily click on all the right links without even considering that it was just 2 minutes since I last checked!

Then comes the regular scan for responses to my posts – views, likes & comments.

I have now mastered the art of tagging…I admire the virtue of  ‘postaday’ .

Started getting curious about how  one could get stats of unique visitors as opposed to total views. Not figured it yet…I guess I will eventually.

I observed those special ‘Featured Blogs’ & started checking how they get selected…no luck on that either.

Then I stumbled upon the ‘Weekly Photo Challenge’…what a cool way to say you’ve arrived into the WP orbit!

I initially  saw ‘Freshly Pressed’ on the home page & didn’t pay much attention other than browsing through interesting posts. Close to two months later I am discovering that being featured on Freshly Pressed is almost every WP bloggers aspiration & accords superstar status in blogdom!!

I check my mail more often…just in case WP wants to inform me that my post has been been selected for this most coveted piece of real estate. You never know…

In conclusion it appears I am hard pressed for time, but never short of time for WordPress!

Maybe one day I will become a Blogologist. In other words, I’ve lost it.

Neck pain, Adios!

A solution for your neck pain finally. No need to spend on doctors, medicines or any form of therapy any more. Stiff neck, frozen jugular, cold neck…may all be shown the door with this, a permanent cure.

The answer is simple. Get a cat. Yes, you read right.

A cats ability to hide in heights & keep the owners guessing on its cattish whereabouts is a sure shot  remedy for all your neck woes. Searching for it everyday ensures you get a complete neck work out.

Just follow these simple steps, replace Mia with your cat’s name –

1. Look right up in the direction of the suspected heights where it might be hiding, call Mia

2. Now crane neck to the left, call Mia

3. Then turn to the right, call Mia

4. Arch neck right back & try to look at the building behind, call Mia

5. Think you heard a miaow  from the left or right? Rapidly turn head from left to right…call Mia, till you figure it out.

The amount of time spent looking UP  to search for your cat & coaxing it to come DOWN will make you suddenly realise that the damn neck pain has GONE!

Try it. 

What is the sense of Humor?

One-liners that wanted to become a paragraph but didn’t make it…

  • Cats are crouch potatoes
  • Happiness is all about purr-spective, get a cat to discover this
  • New tailor in town, helps alter ego
  • After all has been said & done, there’s just a lil more to say & do
  • At the end of the day…it’s night!
  • Catch them young & watch them go
  • To leave & let leave…
  • Politicians are healthy because they live on a diet of votes…(Quaker probably)
  • One socialite to another – laughing artificially comes  naturally to me now
  • If you’re happy & you know it slap your hands…better still, someone else’s.
  • Bloggers pride? You write a paragraph & think you can become an Author one day. Yes, you can. An Author of paragraphs.

Yikes, it’s Jargon!

P L E A S E  save me from the Jargon monster!

O Jargon – how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…

If I could leverage you out of my life per se, I would.
If I could optimise you to gain strategic realignment maybe I should.
If I could just throw you above the line –
Or have you grounded below the line,
And get you to remove your game plan which has no synergy with mine. 

 

Your perspective doesn’t quite add up,
Especially when you articulate a meaningless framework.
Your vertical has a slant to it, like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
So stop thinking outside the box
Use it to collect low hanging fruit or catch a fox.

 

You are not superman so don’t bother trying to build the plane as you fly it.
Paradigm shifted a long time ago when you were not looking
&
The business model too.
Come on get intuitive about the bigger picture.
Ditch the elevator pitch.
Go on a deep dive to Maldives instead & let’s touch base when you are back.

 

Get off your high horse & start from ground reality.
You’ve been on the drawing board for way too long.
So ramp up, sync up & circle back,
So we can see the deliverable before the light.
It takes two to tango you see,
And at the end of the day…it’s night.

 

Global warming going on so please don’t boil the ocean single-handedly,
Try immersing yourself in it instead.
The bottom line is eroding & the scenario is changing, gotta gain traction.
Let’s put a hard stop to the dynamics & submit a plan of action.
The key takeaway is let the workstreams dry, but let the data points be.
It’s never too late to go to market & stay ahead of the curve you see. 

 

 

P.S. If you didn’t understand…that’s great!  🙂
And as you can see, writing poetry is not one of my core competencies!

 

Wanderful Cat

                                         

Mia our cat recently did the disappearing act (part of the Raven-ous cast). She was gone a couple of days…leaving us worried & quite helpless. I mean where does one start searching for a cat? 

Being fairly new to the cat-world I looked up Dr.Google & was relieved to know that this is regular cat behaviour & they will find their way back home…eventually.

Well she didn’t exactly come back on her own…but was lost in the neighbourhood. We were informed by someone who saw her.

She  was fortunately found…with a lot of drama – including someone being sent with a bag with the hope she would cooperate & jump right in! No luck. Finally found in the 3rd attempt & the errant cat was brought back home…by the scruff of the neck.

She received a warm welcome by the inhabitants of the household.

What I’m trying to figure out is what is it that makes these creatures so damn curious. The stray dogs are constantly on the lookout for her…why can’t she get the message & stay safe. Also, I’ve never known of a dog wanting to climb a desk & go for a casual stroll on the laptop!

Having a cat for the first time I am discovering that it’s a totally fun experience. It’s drama of some form all the time…